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Please find my current blog at My Fruitful Home

Do Not be Surprised by Trials

"Dear friends, do not be surprised at the painful trial you are suffering as though something strange were happening to you.  But rejoice that you participate in the sufferings of Christ so that you may be overjoyed when His glory is revealed."  I Peter 4:12-13

When we go through suffering and struggles we are usually taken by surprise.  We think "Why me?"  The scripture says we shouldn't be taken by surprise.  We should almost come to expect it.  We should consider it an honor.  We are to rejoice.  That concept seem foreign to us.  Why would we rejoice?  I know that is not the first thing that comes to my mind.

We don't like what is happening.  We don't like the limitations that our illness imposes on us.  We don't like to inconvenience our husbands, children, and friends.  They go through their own suffering too.  They don't like to see us sick.  They want "normal" lives also.  The scripture tells us it is a good thing to share in the sufferings of Christ.  It's getting us ready for something bigger.

When I'm having a bad day I try to remind myself that this is refining my character.  What can I learn from this?  What can I offer others because of my trials?  Some days all I can muster is a quick prayer for a friend going through a tough time or an e-mail.  Don't underestimate the power of all those things you think of as small.  They can go much further than you think if God is behind them.  So next time you are having a bad day remind yourself that God is at work.

Trusting The Lord Through Illness {Invisible Illness Week}

"Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord.  And whose hope is the Lord."  Jeremiah 17:7

Do you find yourself having difficulty trusting the Lord in the midst of illness?  Is it hard to let go and let God?  I remember reading about Peter out on the water.  He heard Jesus' voice and took a step of faith out on the water.  But then he started hearing old thoughts and beliefs and started to sink.

We need to remember to keep our eyes focused on Jesus.  We need to be reminded not to focus on our  limitations and worries.

Prayer:  Lord help us to remember to focus our eyes on you.  Guide us through this illness.  Remind us that you still have great things planned for us.  Amen.

It is time for the National Invisible Illness Awareness Week again.  It will be from September 10- 16.  There will be a virtual conference with different speakers speaking on different aspects of chronic illness.  This year's theme is Invisible Illness?  Share Your Visible Hope.  Here is a link to learn more.  Come and get the support you need.

Enjoying The Simple Things {While Living With A Chronic Illness}

When there are so many things that you can't do anymore do to a chronic illness, you really learn to appreciate the simple things in life.  A bird chirping, the warm rays of sunshine on your face, your child's laughter.

Life doesn't always have to be filled with big, grandiose things.  God made the little things for our pleasure too.  Chronic illness gives us the opportunity to enjoy and focus on these little things more.  Sometimes when my brain just won't focus because of extreme fatigue, I sit out on my deck in the swing that belonged to my grandparents and look around me.  Just looking at the mountains and sky makes me feel closer to God, reminding me that the world is much bigger than me.

So take the time to enjoy the small, sweet things of life.  We can get so busy when we are well that we miss them.  So look around you.  How many simple things will you enjoy today?

Weariness {A Day When Life Seems Hard from Illness}

Weariness, what an unwelcome word.  It implies lack of energy and a spirit that's on the verge of giving up.  Webster's dictionary defines weariness as worn out, without further patience or tolerance, tired.

I can sure relate to these descriptions.  When I am feeling weary, I feel it in my bones, muscles, spirit, and mind.  That is why I love so many of David's psalms.  He too was familiar with weariness.  Psalm 6:2-3;6  reads "Be gracious to me, O Lord, for I am languishing; heal me, O Lord, for my bones are troubled.  But you O Lord-how long?  I am weary with moaning; every night I flood my bed with tears; I drench my couch with weeping."

From Araz Photo

It comforts me to know that David who was the man after God's own heart also felt deep, real, raw emotions.  Go ahead and give God everything that's inside.  Lay it before Him and be cleansed.

What are some of your favorite Psalms that comfort you?

I Am Enough!

It can be hard at times to remember your worth when you are dealing with a chronic illness.  Let this be a reminder of how much you are loved and valued!  I need to remind myself of these things daily also.

1. You are enough.

2. God loves you just the way you are.

3. You are not valuable because of what you can do but because of who you belong to.

4. Learn to be compassionate and considerate with yourself just as you would with a friend.

5. Learn to forgive yourself.

6. God still has a purpose for your life even though you can't do all the things you use to do.

7. God sings over you with His love. ("He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing." Zephaniah 3:17)

8. God has started a good work in you and He will see it through to completion.

9. Stop comparing yourself to others.

10.Reach out to others.

Five Things That Help Me deal With Chronic Illness

It is hard to live with chronic pain and exhaustion form day to day.  I notice when I am tired or in pain I tend to snap at people more easily.  I think it's because I feel like I don't have much control over even the simplest things.  It's times like these that I have to scale back and try to come up with things that will  nurture me, but  don't require a lot of energy.  Here are five things I've come up with.

1. Visit restministries. This is a wonderful website for people 
    with chronic illnesses.
2. Spend time with your pet or someone else's.  I have a toy 
    poodle who loves to snuggle up to me.  I can feel myself relax 
    just by being near him.
3. Listen to some inspiring music.  I especially love listening 
    to Mandisa's new Cd.  It's like the songs were hand picked 
    just  for me. I also like listening to a cd of ocean waves.
4. Read a good devotional for people with chronic illness.  It
    always helps me to be reminded that other people get what it's 
    like to live with a chronic illness. One i especially like is 
    called Peace in the Storm by Maureen Pratt.


5.Write in a journal.  It helps me to get things out on paper and 
   sort through my feelings.


I hope these ideas helped you think of some simple ways to comfort yourself when you are having a bad day.

Dealing With the Ups and Downs of Living With a Chronic Illness

There are so many things I want to do.  So many things I want to do for my kids.  My body doesn't always cooperate with what's going on in my mind and all my creative imaginations.  That can be hard.

One day I feel almost normal and am close to being the mother I want to be, but the next day a flare can hit and I'm reminded once again that pain and chronic illness are never far away.  I try not to focus on that.  I embrace the times I am feeling better and am so grateful for them.  When I am not feeling so good I try to learn something from those moments too.   I try to learn to be content.  Content with what is.  Content with who God made me to be. Content with the fact that I have two beautiful children and a husband who provides for us.


I will take the good with the bad.  How do you handle tough circumstances?

Thankful Thursday

Check out what I am thankful for at my other blog The fruitful Home!

Where Have I Been?

I am not happy with myself that I let this blog go for so long.  It seems to go  in cycles.  I was working part time as a preschool teacher and also trying to work on my other blog The Fruitful Home.  I've been hoping to make a little money from this blog, but so far nothing significant.

I think of all my friends in the chronic illness world and hope and pray that they are hanging in there and finding comfort and strength through God and others.  I have been in a flare for the past few days.  My arms feel like lead and my shoulders, neck and upper back feel like they are being tightened as tight as can be.  I'm sure you are familiar.  Pain seems to make it so hard just to get through the little things.  I am constantly trying to keep my perspective and being grateful for all the things I do have.  I am reading a book by Debbie Macomber called One simple act- Discovering the Power of Generosity.  It is a good read. I also found a new blog called Finding Purpose in the Pain and Chronic Christian Crafter.  I will try not to let so much time go by next time.

Where is God leading me?

I want to be aware of where God is leading me.  I don't want to just barge ahead with my own plans like I usually do and ask God to bless it.  I know God plants dreams in our hearts.  How do we know which ones to pursue?  I really want to work for myself so I can create my own schedule and therefore take better care of myself.


I am trying to build my tutoring business, but so far I have had no leads.  It's only been about a month since I started advertising.  I thought something would of turned up by now.  I wonder if this roadblock means I'm not suppose to continue or am I to persevere?  I have tutored before and had many clients during the summer.  When school started they discontinued.  I want to help contribute to our family's expenses but am limited to what I can do.


I also have a blog I've been dabbling at for awhile.  About five months ago I decided to step things up a bit and see if I could make some money doing this.  It can be found at www.fruitfulhome.blogspot.com.  It's about saving money and ways to make money from home.  I am passionate about it and get excited when working on it.   The only thing is I'm not that great with technology.  I will keep praying and see where God leads me.  How have you discerned what God wants you to do with your life, especially involving limitations?

Thoughts On Writing

I want to be a writer; but do I want to do the nitty, gritty, every day, up and down task of writing?  Do I have what it takes to be a writer?  Do I want to be a writer without all the hard work?  I don't know.  It's something I must explore.  I know I will not rest until I know for sure.  As far back as I can remember I've dabbled in writing.  I've always kept a journal, starting in the fourth grade.  Just getting my toes wet enough to give me a taste.  Maybe I thought if I never pursued it whole heartedly, I never would have to find out that maybe I don't have what it takes.

I've come to a point where I have to pursue this.  No matter the outcome.  I need to know.  And so I write.  Maybe I'll write for myself or maybe, just maybe I'll write for others and let them into my world for a time.

New things to adjust to

Well I guess it's been a while since I've posted.  A few new things have started since I was last here.  My kids have started school and I started a new job two weeks ago.  It was a very hard decision for me.  I really wanted to work on my tutoring business so I could work at home.  I may still do this part time.  I applied at a day care and preschool for a part time position.  I was suppose to be working with the two year olds as an aid.  At the last minute the owner asked me if I was interested in the preschool teacher position.  I love working with that age group and that's the position I had at my former job.

The reason it was a hard decision was that I would need to be there earlier in the morning and I was thinking that I would have to take work home, being the head teacher.  She said I would rarely have to take things home.  So I decided to be honest with her about my illness and my reservations.  Something I don't usually do.  I figured what have I got to lose?  I knew I still had my tutoring job.  I told her I would try it.  I do like the job, but I have been so wiped out lately.

My kids have to leave for the bus by 6:35.  (I personally think that is way too early.)  I have been coming home from work and just crashing until an hour later when the kids come home.  At least I have that hour.  I am hoping that my body will become a little more use to it. 

How do you handle juggling a job, kids and a house when you have limitations?

I wanted to share with you about a webcast coming out.  On September 6th at 8:00 Est time there will be a webcast called "Say Yes to God".  It will be with author Lysa Terkeurst and Ann Voskamp.  Ann Voskamp is the author of One Thousand Gifts.  I've only read snippets of the book.  I'm on a waiting list at the library.  It looks like a really good, though provoking book.  Sign up at www.lysaterkeurst.com.

Ever Feel Discouraged?

My doctor put me on a gluten free diet a month ago hoping it would ease some of my fibromyalgia symptoms.  So far not only have I not felt better, I feel worse!  She wants me to stay on it for another two months.   She did say it could make me feel worse at first.  I'm thinking though that after a month I should at least not be feeling worse.  Most of the people I've read about or talked to didn't have this problem when going on a gluten free diet.

I'm trying to have a positive attitude, but it's hard to stay away from your favorite foods when you are not seeing results.  I'm thinking maybe there is gluten in my meds that I'm not aware of.  I'm not sure.  I'm going to hang in there and pray for God to help me get through another two months.   Is anyone else on a gluten free diet and not seen results quickly?  I'd love to hear from you.

JOY IN THE SMALL THINGS

I got the chance to volunteer at a nursing home yesterday with my kids.  Something I hadn't done since I was a teenager myself.  My small group at church has been putting together service projects that we can do with our children.  I think it's a great idea.  It's always bothered me that I am not always able to volunteer in the ways I would like.

We helped them play bingo. Something so simple, but turned into something so meaningful.  I was so moved by the way my kids helped out.  They were not thrilled about going, but I gave them no choice.  They do not have any experience being around the elderly.  I knew they were a little nervous.  I told them just to smile, talk in a loud voice and look into their eyes.  A lady asked my son to wheel her back to her room.  It made me so happy to see them in this new environment.  It also gave me a chance not to think of my aches and pains as much.  I hope we get to do it again.

Changes Are Coming

I can't believe another year of school is right around the corner.  My kids start September 7th.  The summer always speeds by way to fast.  I think it's because I never want it to end.  There are no homework deadlines, no early morning wake up calls, no tight schedules.  My daughter will be going into tenth grade.  Where does the time go?  My son will be entering seventh grade and will be in a new building.  He is feeling uneasy about the whole thing. 


I am in the process of looking for a new part time job.  I'm feeling uneasy about that.  Will I find the right thing?  Will the hours work for me?  Will I have enough stamina?  I am looking for a preschool job.  That is what I'm good at.  I'm also trying to grow my tutoring business.  What I'd like to do eventually is only do the tutoring and be able to make my own schedule.  That would be wonderful.  I'm also getting back to blogging.  I have another blog that can be found at www.fruitfulhome.blogspot.com.  It is about making money from home and saving money.  I don't know where it will take me.  I don't always like living with the unknown.  There are so many of them.  Actually our whole life is an unknown to some degree.  Only God know where certain things will take us.  we just have to trust Him and go along for the ride!  What are some changes you see coming up for the new school year?

Dealing With Frustrations in the Midst of Blessings

I just spent the past week at my mom's house in Michigan.  The kids came with me.  I had been wanting to do that for a long time, but always had to wait until my husband was able to come with us.  It is hard for me to drive that long.  It bothered me that my mom usually had to make the drive to our house in order to visit with us.  Megabus has been a real blessing.  It gives me a little bit of freedom.  I do not like having to rely on other people. 

We had a wonderful time there.  My mother was so thrilled that we were able to come.  We took the kids swimming at a local recreation center.  It was an incredible pool, with a huge water slide, three whirl pools and rafts that you could float on.  It was fun for the kids, and relaxing for me.  We also went to the art museum, huge outlet mall, and the Henry Ford Museum. 

I wasn't feeling that great the week I was there.  I did make sure to pace myself and rest when we got home.  I'm not sure why I'm feeling worse than normal.  I've been feeling light headed and overly tired than usual.  My doctor did say there was a chance the gluten free diet I'm on may make me feel worse at first.  I'm not convinced yet that that is the problem.  There are so many things I want to do, but just can't always keep up.  I wonder if there will ever come a time when that does not frustrate me.  How do you deal with frustrations from chronic illness?

I'm getting to ready to visit my mom in Michigan.  My two kids and I are actually riding the Megabus.  You can get tickets as low as $1 a person depending on how far in advance you book your trip.  I decided to take the bus because it's hard for me to drive long distances.  It's also a lot less money. 

I was a little concerned about the trip because I was just recently diagnosed with Factor V Leiden.  It just means I'm more susceptible to blog clots.  I knew I wouldn't be able to get up and walk around.   I'll be on the bus for almost six hours.  The doctor said I have to give myself an injection of a low dose of blood thinner on the day I leave and the day I get back.  At least I won't be worried about sitting for so long now.  I'm hoping I feel better  when I get to my mom's.  I've been in a lot more pain this week and feeling real tired.  I did get to go to my chiropractor yesterday and had a massage.  I always feel better after a massage.  I just wish it would last longer than a day.  I know I am one of the lucky ones that can afford a massage.  My husband actually got me a year's membership for Christmas.  What are some of the ways you make yourself feel temporarily better when dealing with your chronic illness?

Got Gluten?

Right before I went on vacation my chiropractor suggested I go on a gluten free diet.  I decided to live it up on my vacation eating all the things I knew would soon be forbidden.  Bread is my all time favorite food, more than chocolate!  She thinks this may help my fibromyalgia.  Friday is the big day.  I've decided to start that day.

I'm trying to have a positive attitude.  I've tried so many different things that haven't amounted to much.  I need to do this though to see what happens.  She wants me to do it for at least two months.  The worst that can happen is a lose a few pounds.  I can handle that! 

My step-sister went on a gluten free diet for severe migraines.  Nothing was helping.  She was even at the Cleveland Clinic overnight.  She found out on the Internet that a gluten free diet might help.  She's been headache free ever since!  She was one of the lucky ones to have a found a cure so soon.

So off to the grocery store I go, armed with my list of acceptable foods.  I'm glad that most grocery stores now have a gluten free aisle.  Has anyone tried a gluten free diet for their illness?  Any tips would be greatly appreciated.